The Staggers & Jaggs' all new, extra strength, original recipe ear wax has been mending holes in souls, amplifying auras, crossing eyes and kicking asses with longer lasting and more electrifying results than any of the so called, leading, nationally recognized name brands for over four years now.
Just one bottle contains enough psychedelic jipsy swang, freaked folk and barn-burnin' telling-it-like-it-isms to soothe the most cantankerous of beasts, to drown the stubbornest of sorrows and to fill right up to the top that wretched void in your life.
It will make your eyes pop. It will cure your toothaches. It will empty your pockets and liberate you from the confinement of your clothing.
Upon conclusion of a course of treatment with the sensational Staggers & Jaggs' fine medicaments, you may find your cheeks are sore from laughing. There may be a wobble in your step. You may see fireflies and glow-worms dancing before your eyes.